“Totally Stylin’ Tattoo Barbie” Inspires Our Own Beautiful Tattoo Designs

“Totally Stylin’ Tattoo Barbie” has hit stores, much to the chagrin of parents who don’t appreciate the act of getting a lower back tattoo bearing your boyfriend’s name. Good for maintaining an owner/possession relationship AND good for target practice. Two birds? Meet this stone. Here at Guanabee, we love tattoos and have our own suggestions for how to spice up Barbie’s tat collection.

The doll comes with her own tattoos, including the aforementioned Stampe des Trampes, and a toy tattoo gun that allows little girls (or little boys who like butterfly tats) to stamp tattoos all over her body and clothes. Unfortunately for Barbie, the designs are pretty generic. Luckily, your Guanabee editors have come up with better alternatives.

Cindy, who has seven lower back tattoos, all of David Archuleta in various compromising positions (Don’t lie, Cindy.), came up with these two totally stylin’ suggestions for Barbie:

“Straight outta Malibu” bitches! The perfect message to send right before Ken puts an Inglewood in your Monte Nido.

“Kiss my ass, Skipper!” Because, seriously, that heffa is so plastic. Tangent: Look at the right side of this image. Is Barbie about to get donkey punched? Disturbing.

Alex, who enjoys speaking about herself in the third person, created two of her own designs:

When you don’t have genitalia, you need to rely on lots of hearts and curly-Q’s to really assert your femininity.

Truth in advertising. She was originally going to get this done in Chinese characters, but was afraid it’d end up saying something like, “Concubine Condom Dance.”